On Loathing Worthless Food

I was at a Young Adult event a couple weeks ago, which was entitled “Drinks and Dumb Questions.”  The format for the event was that our young adults wrote a bunch of questions, and two of our priests took turns answering the questions that were raised.  During the talk, there was a two part question that was raised in which it was asked, “Why be Catholic, and if I feel connected to God at a different church, why do I need to come to Mass?”

While answering, there was a particular Bible passage that sparked some thoughts.  In the book of Numbers, the Israelites become impatient and begin to complain to Moses saying, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we loathe this worthless food” (Num (21:5).  The worthless food is of course the manna (the bread come down from Heaven), which foreshadows Jesus, the true bread from Heaven.  Shortly after, the Lord sends fiery serpents to bite at the Israelites.  When Moses prays for the people, God commands him to create a pole and mount a fiery serpent upon it.  When the Israelites are attacked, if they look at the snake, they will be saved.

There was one line in that encounter that stuck with me for the rest of the night.

We loathe this worthless food…

How often do we say this to God in our own lives?  I couldn’t help but think of the many times I say this in my own way.  As father was talking, I was cut to the heart, and I started to think about my current struggles.  This is a theme woven throughout my posts for the last few months.  I haven’t had that rich, fulfilling prayer life and I’ve wanted my relationship with the Lord to be on my terms.  I thought back to the Gospel reading from a few Sundays back – love the Lord with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul.  Love wants communion!  It wants union with another.

Have you ever been on a vacation or a foreign place by yourself?  I remember going to Hawaii for work a few years back, and it was a great trip, but all I remember is how I really wished that I could have shared it with someone – a family member, a friend, a loved one, ANYONE!  It’s in those times that you realize something can be so beautiful, and yet so lonely.  On the flip side, there are also times where our relationships don’t feel so great, and all you want to do is be alone.  It’s in the struggles, and the times when love is hard that you really learn about love, and maybe more importantly, about yourself.

When your heart is moved like mine was during the Young Adult event, it challenges you – and also keeps you grounded.  I find this happening a lot while reading books and listening to podcasts.  It’s when I take time to study the faith that I find myself feeling less than worthy, and at the same time, learning the most. I know I’m not yet the person I am made to be, and won’t be until I’m in Heaven.  That certainly doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t strive to be the best that I can be in this life.

While reading a book lately, I stumbled across a quote that is very applicable.

Chesterton’s profound remark that the one thing that the Son of God did not show us while He was on earth was His ‘mirth’ did not presume that the Lord did not know mirth.  Indeed, it was Chesterton’s view that the sort of joy for which we are made is so much more delighful than anything we can know, even by analogy, that it would only depress us if we were to see it before we were really prepared.  The real crisis of our being, if we would only reflect on it, is that we are given too much, not too little, that we are made for a joy we are tempted to reject because we cannot imagine it.  The structure of the present human world might well be seen as the result of the rejection of a gift, which is not due us.  (James V. Schall, On The Unseriousness Of Human Affairs, pg. 157)

Looking around, it doesn’t take too long to find everything that’s wrong with the world.  Our economy has tanked, many people are out of work, the bills seem to be piling up, the evening news is full of stories of crime and violations of human dignity, there is conflict in many parts of the world, and the list goes on. With all the negativity around us, it can be overwhelming, and we forget about all the good things that we have.  We reject the type of joy that we are made for, because we simply can’t imagine a world where that kind of joy is plentiful.  The inclination is to let the bad surround us and shrink back into a corner.  It’s all too easy to let that despair take over, and walk away from the Lord in fear because we just don’t measure up.

In the Gospel this week, three servants are each given talents according to his ability.  Many of us probably identify with the last servant, who only received one talent.  But God makes in investment in all His people (even the man with only one talent).  He gives everything He has for us.  The challenge we are all given is to respond, to see the good things that we’ve been given, and use those gifts for the good.  The homily from Sunday hit the nail on the head. We all like to hear that we’ve done a good job.  The Lord, much like the master in the Gospel, is waiting to welcome us home, and congratulate us on a job well done.

The reason to come to Mass is because the Creator of the Universe has something to offer us.  He is offering Himself!  It doesn’t get any better than that!  The Lord wants to feed us both with His word, and with the Living Word in the Eucharist. “The Church has always venerated the divine Scriptures just as she venerates the body of the Lord, since, especially in the sacred liturgy, she unceasingly receives and offers to the faithful the bread of life from the table both of God’s word and of Christ’s body”  (Dei Verbum 21). Even when the Scriptures are hard to understand, and don’t make us feel good, the Word proclaimed draws us closer to God.

With the Thanksgiving holiday drawing near, I pray that we respond, myself included, to that pull on our hearts, and turn to the Lord out of love.  May we focus not only on the good gifts we are given, but also see the good in others. Through the Word, we may come to know and love Him more deeply, with all our heart, all our mind, and all our soul.